01 July 2005

Reports of my Demise are Greatly Exaggerated

"The report of my death was an exaggeration." -Mark Twain, After reading his own obituary, June 2, 1897

I've always enjoyed this Mark Twain story, but hardly anticipated that I could try on those same shoes! A friend commented to me that he had received an e-mail reporting me on my death-bed! Wonder of wonders, I followed this report by conducting both the National Festivals in Springfield and the Area V Summer at DePauw University in Indiana.

Even with this totally contrasting situation, PKD offers those with it an unusual situation. One doctor commented recently that, one of the problems of the disease is that you don't look and often don't feel sick. It's just that your internal systems are in quiet revolt.

Childhood memories flood the horizon as I remember my dad, once again, as a vital and energetic person. Occasionally he would have what my mother termed "attacks". In the late '50's the doctors were puzzled - they thought he had typhoid! HIs symptoms included extreme pain and his toenails and fingernails would turn blue (some classic symptoms). In a couple of days he was back to normal and life went on.

When he was 36, he went to work one day - a massive headache ensued and the blood pressure skyrocketed. The blood vessels in the brain couldn't take the strain and death was fast and complete. I was 6 - an honest albeit brutal introduction of the final parts of what life is!

That experience with others that followed (since I'm the youngest in both the family trees) cemented my philosophies of life. Death is certainly the closing chapter of the lifeforce we know on earth, but, as we change from childhood to adolescence to adult and older age, the end of the body certainly isn't what I think of as the end of life.

As a result, I think I tend to shock people when I'm pretty cavalier in my philosophies about dying. Genuinely, I was ready when I was about 32 and a young husband. The family stats certainly supported an exit for me in those next several years. That I have had about 20 additional years and have seen high school choral and handbell careers open are certainly nothing more than gifts that I could not expect or anticipate! Every thing that I am allowed to do, unfettered by machines and tubes, is a celebration to creation and recreation!

Some say that this makes me driven - if so - then so be it. I would hope for future days that energy levels were predictable and consistent. No matter tho - I'm not going to be doing a lot of watching the wallpaper peel!

"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -anon

Be content!

Tim & the kids

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very cool post, Tim. :-*

3:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautifully written. You continue to make such an impact on my life! - Mandi

7:32 AM  

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