....ON LOSS

This morning, 23 June 2006, my aunt "Jo" passed away quietly in a nursing facility. She has been, throughout life, a vibrant person without much illness. She was the last of the living bothers and sisters of my maternal grandparents who raised their family for many years in the very same town that I now live.

For those of you who are trying to track the unusual network of family, Jo is also related to Ann and lived for the past many years with Ann's mother.

Any time a loss of this nature occurs, it gives family members and others a time to pause and reflect on mortality as it relates directly to us. Youth have the hardest time with this because we, as humans, aren't "wired" to feel mortal. As we grow and age, we see the reality of becoming mortal and fragile. For some, it arrives earlier. Others arrive there a little later.

People closer to me often react to my "different" take on death. Of course, one is sad for the simple fact that we don't have the opportunity for a hug or a phone call or the unfailing cards at holidays, but I'm honestly excited and heartened that each of us will be in a place that will be much better with more understanding of the life that we've just completed.

One of the transitions that I saw with my upcoming surgery - about a year or two prior to the surgery - was my reference to "the body" which became very separate from "me" through that time. I'd frequently, without really thinking about it, say things like "...The body isn't having a good day today" not realizing that I was genuinely separating, and separated, the body physical from the energy or life-force that was me.

Read back over some of the earlier posts- it's there - and I'm sure some of you remember hearing me say things just like that.

Interesting that, now, it simply has stopped. It doesn't happen. Life-energy and body physical have become one again. But, with great assurance, I know that life-energy at some point will separate from the physical and will become at-one with the creator and all of creation.

"... as we wait in joyful hope....."

Tim & kid

THREE MONTHS! WOW!

...and it seems like just a few weeks - and then again - it seems such a long time ago - strange!

Things with Duke and with the local doctors are boiling down to the adjusting and tweaking of minor things that need attention. Most all of the major events are [hopefully] over for a while. Indeed MONTH THREE is a milestone and I'm seeing "back to normal" (if it ever WAS normal) at school and church. Someone asked one of the people at school how I was and got the response "why are you asking?" They have become adjusted to my return! The person asking was totally SHOCKED to see me walk in - so we're celebrating the dichotomy of a group that has returned to treating me normally (with all the accompanying return of responsibilities and frustrations) and a group that thinks I'm at home in bed and treats me as if I'm fragile.

The BEST thing recently, which might be a repeat of previous comments that you've heard, was the Duke physician that said...

We didn't put the kidney in for you to become fragile and disabled, we put it in so that you might live!

So let it be!

In that line, I'm sharing a modern "psalm" that I keep with me in my briefcase as a reminder. Interestingly, it's been in the briefcase for over 14 years. It's from the March April 1992 issue of ALIVE NOW! Growing Toward Wholeness. Some I've accomplished as live goes on. Some I strive hard to accomplish. Those who know me well will probably find me within these thoughts.

SURVIVAL PSALM

Therefore be vulnerable first to others' kindness.

Let such affection wash over you and fall deep within.

Cleave to those who are steadfast. The best love is

stubborn. Cleave to those who are steadfast

Love as you are allowed, not as you desire.

Distill the quivering into compassion for the needy

Listen for birdsong. Learn from the birds to defy

silence and become one with the Song inside you.

Seek to be honest with yourself. Let all feelings

just be. Denial grants them the power of terror.

Find someone whose job it is to hold you while you

sob. Thereby discover the strength beneath weakness.

Practice humility before the order of Music and the

xtravagant fragility of flowers. For beauty heals pride.

Eat good food with good friends. Let the world's weight

fall from your shoulders into teasing and laughter

Each day the earth rotates toward Eastered light.

Lean on the earth. Surrender control, fall into the

infinite grace of God's YES!

*Mary Zimmer

Pax Vobiscum

Tim & kid

Support Tim With A Generous Gift - May Update

As Tim's life continues to return to a sense of normalcy -- a return to full-time teaching, continuing on the organ bench, traveling to workshops and festivals -- we would like to keep in front of you the ongoing financial needs that are now a part of Tim's life.

His anti-rejection medications are currently costing him over $1000 per month. For now, insurance is picking up the cost -- but in just over three years, Medicare stops paying for these medications. There are co-pays, deductibles, non-covered expenses, and other incidentals that eat into Tim's budget on a more current basis, and he has mentioned this issue in a previous post.

As Tim was preparing for the nephrectomy and transplant, Duke University's transplant counselors suggested that he establish a 501(c)(3) to help defray the long-term expenses that he will face. Having known Tim since 1990 from serving almost eight years with him on the AGEHR Area V board, and now pastoring a church that was willing to "donate" its 501(c)(3) status for this purpose, I established a tax-deductible fund in the church's name to meet this need.

Tax-deductible donations can be sent to:

Waugh Fund of First Church

PO Box 232

Wellington, OH 44090

Unless you specifically request a mailed or e-mailed receipt, please use your cancelled check and bank records as proof of your contribution. All funds go directly into this account and will be disbursed according to policies adapted from another 501(c)(3) entity.

Gifts have come from community/professional ensembles, from individuals, from love offerings taken at events, and from AGEHR areas. There are even those who have contributed more than once.

If you are having a meeting, festival-conference, or workshop, I can provide a flyer in Word format that explains the fund, explains Tim, and advises how a tax-deductible donation can be made. Or, feel free to link to this page from your web site. Please continue to remind your constituencies, especially those who have worked with Tim but may not have heard the story of his transplant, that there is a way to honor Tim through this ongoing need for financial support.

If you have any questions, need more information about giving to this fund, or would like the flyer file, please contact me at bdburke52@aol.com and I will gladly respond to your request.

Thanks for the continued outpouring of prayers, support and love for Tim (and Ann!) as he returns to his pre-transplant level of activity.

Regards,
Brian Burke